Hey, thanks for your response to my bad news a couple of weeks ago. It's been hard, but the well wishes meant a lot to me. Still do.

Meanwhile, the promised good news - my long-overdue website overhaul! - is still a couple of weeks off.

But some of you may recall my habit of doing new art for holidays and special occasions?

Well, today would surely qualify.

Congratulations, America, and all over the world. Our horrible nightmare is finally over.

Hi.

Unfortunately, 2008 ended on a really sad note for me.

But I've been thinking about you all a lot, and I'll be back with some good news in a week or so.

In so many ways, it will be a very different year.

Okay, so I obviously left dA in 2007.

I saw !ndifference, !CageyButterfly, and !surrealist-geek banned earlier in the year, not for violations, but for expressing opinions and facts that the administration didn't want to hear.

So there's the dilemma, do you see?

I could either continue to contribute here, and allow the implication that I found those events acceptable...

Or I could speak my mind and be banned myself.

But I want my journals to stay here. So I backed myself up, every note and journal, and engaged the "proper removal of the delete function" a couple of hundred times, to leave in every other way.

I can't even say any more about it, can I? That's the dilemma. Speak up, but risk being shut up. Permanently.

And that's how my life at dA came to an end.

...

Maybe I'll update you someday, if I ever get another web presence rolling. I sure promise that my artistic motivation misses you!

But anyway, I've been thinking of you guys a lot, missing you and wanting to update you. There's an end-of-year entry posted now on my rarely-updated blog, if you want to soak up some blather.

It's all about the New Year's juncture, the most important to me personally in the whole year, and I wrote it largely with you in mind, so thought I would give you a head's up.

Miss you a lot, wish things had gone differently...

And of course, wish you nothing but the best for 2008!

My "big news" has to wait a little longer, but you're welcome to read between the lines. Many ventures in my life tend to resolve around five years. And then that will be that.

Will write about my own reasons soon, but for now, you should check out the latest issue of *suture.

____________

My summer in the States is almost over. Leave Lex this weekend, to see my family and some old friends down south, and then to fly back across the Atlantic for another year in the Middle East.

Looking forward to going back, actually. My art computer is there, and dying to get back to work. And it will be nice to get paid again. Been broke all summer, after paying off all my consumer debt with the previous year's earnings. So this year will start putting money in the bank (and hopefully soon, a Swiss bank).

But this summer has been good. Miss Biz and I are closer than ever, and have loved so much of our time together. She's a very special cat. All my friends compliment her on her personality, and I hope someday to take the picture that does her justice, and makes her my most beautiful model.

My allergies have been the worst thing about returning to North America. Haven't suffered them so badly since 1992 or so. The Middle East is plenty dusty, but it's not organic. So it spoiled me in an unexpected way. And dry heat is a lot less draining than humid heat (though July was unexpectedly beautiful here).

The coolest aspect of the vacation has been my rediscovery of music. Been on a long slope for years of listening less, and stewing in silence more, but this summer has become a turning point. Excited about the daily vitality of music like I have not been in a very long time, from both old treasures and new discoveries. Ripping it all onto a hard drive and then filling gaps in my collection has rejuvenated me on many levels.

For example, I had no idea that Sonic Youth could kick my ass again so freshly as Murray Street. Had expected for years that the first two Beatles would sound relatively primitive, but have been amazed at the quality of their earliest material. (The first two were the last two that I needed for a complete collection.) David Byrne's Look Into the Eyeball and Beck's The Information are both really solid new entries to the canon. Definitely waited too long to enjoy Laurie Anderson's delicately quirky Life on a String. And Nick Cave's Grinderman project has been a revelation, such teeth and velocity.

But the highlight has definitely been Eric Bachmann and Crooked Fingers. Have enjoyed the initial Crooked Fingers album for years, for its post-Waits sense of loss and sadness ("She Spread Her Legs and Flew Away..."), but always thought it was a one-off project. Was stunned this summer to discover much more had been released.

I'd recommend Bachmann to anyone who enjoys clever wistful wordplay and melody with a rich sense of texture. The first Crooked Fingers is haunting and often tragic, amazing accompaniment for late lonely night (with only one upbeat track that always seems out of place to me, right after a transcendently liquid opener). Bachmann's 2005 solo album, To the Races, would be good if you like spare minimal instrumentation with a beautiful morning feel. The third Crooked Fingers, Red Devil Dawn, is probably the most accessible, upbeat and friendly, great for a sunny afternoon.

But the fourth record, Dignity & Shame, has been the outstanding discovery of my whole summer, a sweet sundown record of amazing variety and texture, a couple of thunderous rockers, and the most bittersweet heartbreak duet that I've ever heard. (Lara Meyerratken adds wonderful harmony to much of the album, but her role in "Sleep All Summer" is positively magical.) There's one countrified track that sounds a little skew to me, but the overall gestalt of tempos and moods works amazingly well. And it's well worth cranking and basking in all its textures and surprises, right from the opening edge-of-your-seat tension track.

So of all the music that I could point your way, that's at the top of my mind.

Though I shouldn't forget to point you toward Once, if it's still showing at a theatre near you, surely the most intimate musical in the history of film. (I saw it three times and can hardly wait for the DVD.)

Or, as I said, if you wanna get your ass blistered, check out the Grinderman album.

But for now, I'm packing up and resolving last loose ends.

And then I'll probably write one more journal entry in a couple weeks, once all my ducks have all marched out in a row.

Fair warning, all my prints will go offline at DAPrints in about a week. I'll be setting up shop somewhere else sometime next year.

This does not reflect dissatisfaction with DAPrints. I have other reasons, and frankly, I'm one of DAPrints' biggest fans. I've had little issues here and there, and had to struggle to rectify by 1.8 gamma workflow with their 2.2 process, but it's long been my belief that DAPrints has been a tremendously valuable service here. And I have never felt that the profit-sharing arrangement has been unfair.

In fact, I'd give DAPrints credit for inspiring a major turning point in my work, way back in 2003, and my obsession with quality beyond the bounds of efficiency. My whole book-in-progress owes much of its origin to DAPrints. I think their value is especially great for those who come here and are nurtured to take their work to the next level. DAPrints offers an excellent opportunity to do that. That's what it did for me.

But, I am taking them down in about a week, so if you want to order one, now is your last chance for the foreseeable future.

Virtually all of them have been proofed by me, and I'm completely satisfied with the results, other than the following exceptions:

Eye on the Prize and Promise to Keep (and maybe The Honeymoon is Over) are slightly dark, but still gorgeous.

Every Little Thing She Does and From This Day Forward are unacceptably dark (my fault, really) and are not available. (I don't have the means to fix them this summer, to my regret, since they're two of my favorites.)

Yes, You became too light after my last revision, and has also been deactivated. All That You Can't Leave Behind might be slightly too light, but acceptably. (Both from the same shoot? But developed months apart? Interesting...)

However, I had proofs sent to me in Saudi after my last major overhaul, and most of them now look exactly as I'd always intended - luminous. Especially the "nearly black and whites" (that actually have hints of color) of Lauren, and my only true black and white photograph, Life by the Horns.

So if you want a sliver of my personal artistic history, get one while you can. They probably won't be available again until sometime next year, and through a different channel linked from my own website.

Again, I've got no beef with DAPrints - it's not about that.

____________

Personal update:

Life back in the States in strange. I'm loving the quality time with my cat, hating what this country is doing to my allergies, and strangely off-balance in my attempts to enjoy my old social life. Pretty cash-strapped, so avoiding opportunities to go out and spend money. (Which also means avoiding the coffee shop and its wireless internet. Have got a smoking Windows laptop on loan from my job overseas, but no Photoshop on it, of course.)

But the return is doing one thing that I hoped. It's recharging my jets to get back to my G5 iMac in the Kingdom, and get back to work on my art and book. Had lost my mojo in January, but I can feel it raging back to life now. Might have a very rewarding model shoot or two before leaving the States again. (I.e., she's fabulous!)

Got my entire music collection ripped onto a hard drive (a true uncompressed backup of about 300GB, except that my Abbey Road is missing), which will increase my quality of life there. And also bought a car right before I left, so will be more mobile and independent next year as well. (Now if I could only get that country to chill out about cameras! Spent most of last year dreading confiscation.)

Will be making a pretty major announcement in about a week. Still lining up the details.

Love to you all.