Will be back in the States soon (for two months). I'm ready. These last two months took a rather bitter turn.

I normally find it annoying or uninteresting when someone posts song lyrics in their journal. But frankly, this song feels often like a metaphor for my life. It haunts me.

And it's really all I have to say right now.

Seen and Not Seen, lyrics by David Byrne,
from Talking Heads' Remain in Light

He would see faces in movies, on T.V., in magazines, and in books...
He thought that some of these faces might be right for him...
And that through the years, by keeping an ideal facial structure fixed in his mind, or somewhere in the back of his mind...
That he might, by force of will, cause his face to approach those of his ideal...
The change would be very subtle...
It might take ten years or so...
Gradually his face would change it's shape...
A more hooked nose, wider, thinner lips....
Beady eyes... A larger forehead.

He imagined that this was an ability he shared with most other people...
They had also molded their faces according to some ideal....
Maybe they imagined that their new face would better suit their personality....
Or maybe they imagined that their personality would be forced to change to fit the new appearance...
This is why first impressions are often correct...
Although some people might have made mistakes...
They may have arrived at an appearance that bears no relationship to them...
They may have picked an ideal appearance based on some childish whim, or momentary impulse...
Some may have gotten half-way there, and then changed their minds.

He wonders if he too might have made a similar mistake.

...